UnDreams – Written May 2013

I was cheated last night. I enjoy my dreams, even if I can’t always remember them. I awake feeling like I had a great time. Dreams are like nature’s LSD where insane, wonderful things can happen without all the bother of reality horning in and saying “That’s Impossible”

Like I said, I don’t always remember my dreams, but sometimes I do. Sometimes I awaken briefly and will myself to go back to sleep and pick up my dream where it left off. It even works sometimes.

I didn’t want to pick up last night’s dream where it left off. I didn’t want to go back to sleep just in case it might. I feel cheated because these these past few days and weeks have been long and torturous and nights should provide some small respite.

I dreamed that my wife was dying, slipping away, wasting away, in pain both physical and mental. I dreamed that I was helpless to do anything for her except be nearby offering soothing words and reassurances that were lies, food and drink that provided no pleasure or sustenance and medication that dulled the pain but stole the person.

A sound awoke me. Soft light filtering in the windows through the curtains. A bird sings to greet the day. My wife moans, she is dying in the daylight as surely as she is dying in my dreams.