NOMEX, a DuPont USA company has announced that it will begin production of a new line of pants. NOMEX spokesman, Bud Burns has announced it’s new POLITICIAN PANTS. “NOMEX has seen a growing market and a growing need for this line of clothing” Burns said “From the chief executive and the entire Congress down to the White House Aides and spokespersons. NOMEX is a proud American company and feels that it is our patriotic duty to protect our leaders from themselves. We are uniquely poised to produce fire proof pants and, given the proclivities of the current American politicians, the need is immediate and great”. NOMEX has announced that it will make the pants in Sizes L, XL, XXL,XXXL and Fat Ass.

In an attempt to expand their product line, NOMEX is also introducing “The Cheat Sheet” a line of King Sized sheets available for those in power who enjoy the occasional dalliance. The benefits of “The Cheat Sheet” is that they are non-staining, fire proof (in case you sit down wearing your Politician Pants) and their incompatibility with “Memory Foam”. Perfect for those in power who never seem to remember the women that they met and “helped” in their careers. The “Cheat Sheet” can be bundled with “Politician Pants” for those rising stars in Government. They are available in Red, Blue or for the uncommitted, Red, White and Blue.